October 2010


A Monthly Advice Column

This month: guest columnist Rich Fulcher

Dear Sedaratives,

My boyfriend wants to know how many guys I’ve been with before him. I’m worried that the number might be a little too high. What’s the etiquette on this? Should I tell him the truth, or what he wants to hear?

Susan B.
Rochester, N.Y.

Dear Susan,

Your boyfriend asked you how many guys you’ve slept with and then you left the room to write me this letter? Is he still waiting? He probably thinks the number is so huge that you need one of those military mainframe computers from I Dream of Jeannie to figure it out. Talk about bad etiquette!

There’s no way out of this now except to go right back in and ignore him. Pretend you forgot because you were distracted with your coin collection: “Honey, I’m sorry, the 1970 uncirculated Kennedy half dollars have been oxidized. What was your question again? Ah yes. I’ve only slept with three guys.”


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Rich Fulcher is best known for his roles in The Mighty Boosh. Most recently he has performed as his alter-ego, Eleanor, playing sell-out seasons in Australia and at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. He’s the author of Tiny Acts of Rebellion, and has also appeared in Modern Problems in Science, Snuff Box, and Skins.

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