March/April 2011

Musin’s and Thinkin’s

A Monthly Stroll Down Folksy Byways

with Jack Pendarvis

The way I hear tell, there was this fox and this chicken walking along in the woods, and pretty soon they come up on this nice green clearing with a big, smooth, old tree stump smack-dab in the middle of it, just made for sitting and enjoying the cool of the day. Old Mr. Fox says, “Say, there, chicken, I’m getting mighty tired. Why don’t we rest here for a spell?”

Now, the chicken is way too smart for that. Says she, “Listen here, Mr. Fox, I’m way too smart for that. If we stop to rest, you’re gonna gobble me right up, feet and all!”

Well, now, that old fox just a-laughs and laughs, because dang it if the chicken don’t make an excellent point. So they just keep ambling along, and before you know it they happen on a tortoise just a-lying on its back in the sun. Now if you know anything about tortoises, you know they can’t get up real good once they’s laid out thataway.

“Turtle, you can’t be too comfortable laid out thataway,” says the chicken.

“Ain’t a turtle, I’m a tortoise,” the tortoise replies.

“I never did know the difference,” says the chicken.

“Then why don’t you go screw yourself?” the wily old tortoise suggests.

And do you know what? That’s exactly what the chicken did.

We hope you enjoy this excerpt.

To read the full piece, please visit our store to purchase a copy of the magazine.

Jack Pendarvis has written three books.

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