A PARKERSBURG VOCABULARY

THE LEXICAL INVENTORY OF AN APOCRYPHAL TOWNE

by David Berman

Sad Fingers (sad-fin-gurs) n. Nostalgia for an old area code. Ex: “He has sad fingers.”

Hoxter (hock-stur) n. A fellow who lacks the energy to live up to his own sociopathic heritage.

Roycambellside (roy-cam-bul-zid) adv. or adj. To be in the vicinity of Roy Campbell.

Blue Emberton (blu-embr-tun) n. A wealthy man who subsidizes his own murder, often through the employment of an idle hoxter.

Dratchell (dratch-ll) n. A piano tuned to the shadows cast on a vacant lot.

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David Berman is the author of Actual Air and the avatar of the Silver Jews. He lives in Nashville.

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